2013

So before 2012 ends I just want to write one last blogpost. I've been at home with my family for the past week, which has been extremely draining but fun. I don't know how I'll ever be ready for kids of my own, cause even though I do love them, they are so exhausting. I have once again a new found wonder for my mother who raised four kids. Sho. *Sorry I regressed, as this post is actually about the new year and not at all about kids. oops

Anyways so the end of the year is here and social networks are buzzing with people taking stock of the previous year, people looking forward to the new year and even some making those all to lovely New Years Resolutions (NYR) which are never kept. How are we so delusional that we think this year is going to be completely different? Why do we think that because the year has ended, that our thoughts and acts will be renewed instantly as the clock strikes 12?

The thing that most people don't realize is that if they do not change, nothing will. A wise man once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Making NYR's are probably as effective as wishing upon a shooting star. Yet we all still do that. We probably make these so called promises to ourselves to make us feel better and to feel like we are in control, which is also a strange phenomenon, but not one to be discussed tonight.

Another thing that I've been wondering about is whether we should seize the moment or follow our dreams. I personally think that following your dreams will eventually yield better results, but sometimes those dreams can cause you to miss some amazing opportunities that just pops up, and vice versa, sometimes we get so lost in the moment that we lose focus on our dreams.

I believe that we each have an internal compass that directs our lives. Sometimes we are so off course that we lose ourselves, and who we are. My wish for 2013 is to just keep as close to my internal compass as I possibly can. Whether that means following my dreams or living in the moment, or even it is the same thing.

And I leave you with a thought for the New Year:

“Heroes didn't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn't wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back.”
- Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

Hope you have a great 2013. Be a hero!

my day today

So today at work has been most unproductive... I worked yesterday and the rest of the year, but today for some odd reason I've done nothing of note - at least where my company is concerned...

My day so far... I spent a great deal of my day planning the zombie apocalypse happening tomorrow (I'm planning on surviving #justsaying), I have even convinced a guy I know to carry a crossbow and a baseball bat around to ward off zombies. We will be in the country with the other survivors (I might have watched one too many zombie movies, eish).

Well other than that I found out that Miss SA did not win the Miss Universe pageant, shame. And that we have only won the Miss Universe pageant once, but we have won Miss World twice and that there is something called Miss Earth (which is the only pageant I'll consider entering - after my short lived modelling career in which I took a top 10 spot for amazing hair and the one judge commented on my face as being interesting, not sure how that should go down). But I can't as I am too short. *sigh* I also learnt that Miss Earth is not necessarily environmentally friendly, just pretty (still too short). Also a boy who went to school with me won Mr SA last year.

This is what happens when I have no work at all and twitter is flooded with people commenting on the Miss Universe pageant.

For lunch I had a dessert pizza (nutella, flake and jellytots), why you may ask... because I can! It was way too much sweets though and I only ended up eating about 3 slices. 3 very yummy slices. I felt very grown up when the 12 year old at the next table ordered a salad...

After lunch I also read up on the Mayan Calendar  which is actually no threat at all. These people just kept time a bit differently than we do today. And apparently it is quite clear for some scholars that the Mayan system envisages a new cycle of the calendar beginning on the 22 Dec 2012. Out with the old in with the new:)

O well, so my day has been unbelievably unproductive on the long run, but no serious damage done... (Oh, and I bought a sudoku book to keep me entertained in case of emergency boredom...)

Masks

Every morning when I look in the mirror, I ask the girl staring back at me:
Can you see that I've fallen from grace,
and that this is not my natural face?
She answers that I might be showing at the seams and that another fake smile or maybe money given to a beggar would make me feel a bit better.

Why do we do it? We package ourselves so differently from what we actually are. Any overwhelming emotion tends to be oppressed. We should love - but not to fiercely, hate - but not completely and live - but please not too loud dear.

When all is said and done what do we have left but our stories, yet we always tell our stories with a bit more love than was actually expressed and a bit more hate than was actually conveyed. We need to learn that it might be okay to not be okay and we should just be true to who we are. Say what you need to say even if you fear rejection or failure.

“A human being is nothing but a story wrapped in skin.”
- Fred Allen

We need to live a little, love a lot and laugh even more.

My favorite song...

Oke, maybe not my all time favorite song, but it definitely ranks in the Top 3 (and it has been on repeat for the whole day so far)... The Rose by Bette Midler.

This song is amazing, to describe it in so few words. We all fear to much and take to little chances, but the irony is that even if you don't take any chances what so ever, you will still die. We are afraid to live a little, for fear that if we do we will fail. But failure is a part of life, growing up and learning those lessons again and again. If you have a dream, make it happen.

*Oh, and I was nice enough to provide you with the lyrics to this timeless classic:

The Rose

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give,
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose.

Love

Love is a many splendor thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love...

But is it really? Can we live on love alone? And how much love would a person need to satisfy his appetite? Can you love a person too much?

I think that the thing you love the most is the thing you think about most evenings before you go to bed and it's the first thing on your mind the next morning when you wake up... but what happens when that love isn't a mutual feeling?

Can we so ferociously now just love something or someone else tomorrow? Do some of us just love in a more intense way than others?

I believe in loving all people for who they are. I also believe that we should not fall in love too quickly, or at all. But we should rather be lifted up in love... Because to fall is to stumble and I don't think it bears well for the relationship if that's the start of it all...

2013 will be my charity year. 2012 was the year I learnt to be patient in all things, it was a year of changes and long periods sitting and reflecting, and determining who I want to be from here on out. 2011 was my travel year - I had a blast!

May you be lifted up in love!

End of the world?

It might almost be the end of the world as we know it... or it might not. As you would know if you have been reading my posts regularly (or as regular as I seem to remember to post them), you might have realized that I am a spiritual girl. I believe in the creation of all things by God and in the good of all that He does.

I however also believe that we have a purpose to live out and if I have fulfilled my purpose by the end of this year, mine was but a small one. See I do not believe in mediocrity any more - all we do, should be done to the best of our abilities and should be beyond what anyone expected of us. Always rise above and beyond the expectations of your worst critic.

It is a new month, the last of the year 2012. Maybe the "end of the world", as I so fondly call it, is not literally the end of the world, but rather the death of the old and the end of mediocrity. It is (and definitely has been) a period of change. A change of opinions, people, circumstances and relations.

As for me I'm excited to see what each new day, month and year might bring. New people, opportunities and a changing of times. I will continue to strive to be a set apart young woman, who loves fiercely (sometimes not reciprocated as much as I might wish), believes in the good of people and in the possibility of anything and everything.

Fire and Ice

"Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice."

Robert Frost

Missing

With the recent death of a family member, and the birthday of a friend that passed away earlier this year, I started wondering yet again what life could be all about... And if we will ever figure out the reason for all this we have here on earth. Sometimes I wonder if those who have left us aren't sitting up there thinking what idiots we are with the things we spend all of our time on.

We make less time for actual people time and more time for social networking. Some of us have become so wrapped up in the package that we are trying to sell to the world of who we are that we forget to love the person and not the package. We live for ourselves and make connections only when and where it can benefit us.

We do not spend our time wisely for we do not know how. Days are wasted and people slip through the cracks. We care too little and give too little, be it time or love. I love how children can still genuinely pay attention and listen, without being distracted by a phone buzzing or a series in the background.

When do we make time for each other? Time is all we have. You can't ever get a moment back, and some you won't want back. They say you have to live without regrets, I don't think that is possible. There will always be something you think you could have done differently, and somethings you most probably should have done differently, but living with regrets is not half as bad as living without lessons. 

One thing we should all try to do is:

Let all that you do be done in love" 1Cor16:14

Send time with loved ones.

Mistakes

As I was speaking to my sister this weekend I again realised how blessed I've been all my life. Even if I screw things up royally, I always seem to end up in a better place than I was before.

I have many regrets, but I would probably make the same mistakes if I had been given a do-over or a return to start card... Every seemingly insignificant thing that happens forms you as a person, it shapes you and defines how you make your choices from here on out.

I learn things by trial and error, and I believe mistakes are only very stupid if you didn't learn something from them. I live and learn, which is the only way I know how to. Some people take life all too seriously, and forget to get the lesson out of each situation. Because most of the time you can get one. One of my all time favorite quotes is from The Lion King, where Rafiki says to Simba:

“Ah, yes the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it”
-Lion King

Those are some wise words for a crazy monkey. But it is true, as soon as you embrace your past you can become who you are now, and who you are at this stage of your life journey. I have recently started making some of my past mistakes, but as soon as I figure out the road I'm taking is one I've been down before and I realize that it is not one that I want to be on or one I particularly liked (some I liked but they were pretty self destructive), I reasess my situation and start looking for alternatives and pray for a different direction.

Let your TEST become your TESTimony and your MESS become your MESSage!

Time

This morning while driving to work there was a really ambitious driver in the lane next to me. He was in his brand new sports car slipping in between lanes and still ending up right next to me at every intersection. In traffic it is impossible (or actually just very dangerous) to be overly ambitious. Eventually the sports car got his gap and sped towards his destination, finally getting a whole traffic light on me. While driving I thought about the sports car, but lo and behold not for long. One of the lanes up ahead started merging into another lane because of an accident up ahead, while driving slowly past the accident scene I saw my sports car friend standing next to his now very dented car. He had driven into someone's behind.

Sometimes I have impatient tendencies in traffic, but as the little sports car just reminded me again - nothing comes from rushing. After seeing his bad fortune I put my music a bit louder and danced to my beat, being thankful for this hour in my day that I don't have to do anything but drive and I don't have to be anyone except me.

Every hour of each day is so filled with have to's and need to's and get to's. You have 24 hours each day. suppose you have 7 hours sleep, 8 hours at work (plus lunch makes it 9), I travel to and from work that's another 2 hours gone, get ready for work in the morning for another hour (which is what it takes to be kind of awake and get ready) go to the gym in the afternoon (a very recent development in my calendar) for another hour. That is 20 hours right there that is gone. Now I still have to pray, eat, shower, and do chores. So what is left of life. Except the say 3 or 2 hours in the evening.

Most people use those 2 / 3 hours to stare at that electronic box that we created to waste time. We don't spend any quality time with those around us and those which we claim to love. What do you make and use your time for?

A wise person (I can't remember who) once said... Show me your diary and I'll show you what's the most important thing in your life.

Smile at a Stranger

Every day when I wake up, I have a choice to either be happy or sad. I can wake up (sometimes late) and go through the whole day rushed without taking anything in or adding anything of value to the world around me. Smiling is the easiest way to add something of value to another persons life, it comes at no expense to you and makes you feel good to. Some days it is a mission to smile to the street vendor, who is trying to make a living and know of no other way.

Do you know how nice the people at the tollgates are? Their names are put up on their booths most of the time. If you greet them by name with a smile and wish them a pleasant day/evening, they greet you back with a smile and most of the time a very warm one. Why have we become so oblivious to the people around us? Most of the time we are bashful and rude to people providing a service that we see as beneath ourselves. We think of ourselves as high and mighty and do not take time to be nice to our fellow humans, unless we seek to gain something from it.

Niceness is not overrated. It creates opportunities to show the love of the Lord to people. Make your service one of niceness and kindness.

James 2:1-9 is my inspiration (actually a law) for treating all people equally and with respect.

James 2: 1 - 9
A Warning against Prejudice
1 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?
2 For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3 If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, 4 doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?


5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? 6 But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? 7 Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear?


8 Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 9 But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.

Like a Flake

I fear that I have a very bad memory. I almost forgot about blogging entirely - after just 2 posts. *sigh*. I have a bad memory and a short attention span, which is not always the best combination. I struggle to watch a movie without falling asleep and get distracted almost as easily as my Yorkie.

These aren't my best qualities and they have caused my life to stray every so often. I try my best to be my best, but get distracted along the way by something that seems more fun, or I just forget what my goals were. I have tried writing them down and setting definite goals, dreams and sometimes plain delusions, but either I forget where I wrote them down or I just plain forget to read them.

I have thus decided that planning does not work for me, I love making all kinds of lists, but can't follow them for the life of me. I would rather live life than list it... I don't know if it makes sense.

Who doesn't love a Flake?

Dreaming big and then waking up and forgetting the dream is something I have become to accustomed to. I know that this also makes me seem flaky and distracted to some. I might be. But I know that most of almost everything good that has ever happened to me has been by accident and sometimes a comedy of errors.

I will leave the pen in my Lord's hand, while being willing for anything. I will stop stressing and planning or even stop stressing about my lack of planning and just live simply and love with abundance.

On Blogging

I have always been afraid of blogging - afraid that I might not be good at writing, or that no one will read what I write. I have come to realize however that I am not so much writing for anyone as I am writing for myself.

Writing/blogging is a calming activity, that makes me slow down and think about what I have learnt and done in the past, maybe week, month or even year. It puts things into perspective and creates a focus. It is also a kind of sieve/filter on my mind. Which goes through important bits.

The first time I wrote something for a blog was for a travel blog. It was fun and I felt like I could just be myself and say what I want to say. I realize that once I put something onto paper (or as the case may be keyboard) it will always be there, and anyone might see it.

In the near future I believe that we will all broadcast too much of ourselves on the internet (most of us are already), the average 20something has numerous accounts and feels the need to update regularly what he/she is doing. I have a friend who is the most disconnected person I know, she has a facebook account which she never checks and she can't remember the password to it either, she has an old phone that is always on silent (because she needs it when she needs to reach people) in our high tech world, she has just not cared to keep up. Getting hold of her is frustrating as hell, but I love her for that. I think the strange contrast she presents to the world is what is so appealing to me.

As for me I am much to nosy to not have numerous accounts, I used to love wasting time on social networks not posting anything but just scrolling though what others thought was important enough to broadcast. I have in the past couple of months noticed that I haven't been doing that as often as I used to. I find different ways of entertaining myself and wasting time that I don't have - like starting this blog.

So, it is not about if anybody enjoys reading this, but about how much I enjoyed writing it ;)

Oor Hobbelperde en Hoop

Ek is mal oor hobbelperde, hulle gee 'n oudtydse gevoel aan enige kamer, veral as hulle van 'n goeie hout gemaak is. As ek op ene klim voel ek sommer gou-gou weer soos 'n kind, nie dat ek te lank terug een was nie, en is sommige aspekte is ek nog steeds een.

Die probleem is dat kinders nie kan wag om grootmense te word nie, en dan sodra ons die grootmens verantwoordelikhede kry, dan wens ons weerons kan net op hobbelperde klim en ons grootste probleem sal wees om nie af te val nie (as jy so ver dink)! Ons is dus nooit ten volle teenwoordig in die fase van ons lewens waar ons onsself bevind nie.

Ek het nie te lank gelede afgestudeer nie, en het daarna begin werk, kort daarna my eerste werk verloor, my tassie gepak en gaan toer. Met my toer beplanning was een van my grootste probleme watter griekse eiland lyk na die lekkerste een... Kaarte was my leesstof, en plakkies my hoogste skoene en die wereld was lekker. Daarna het ek met 'n bondel entoesiasme en hope energie begin werk soek. My moed was keer op keer gebreek en 9maande later was ek eers suksesvol (so lank soos ' n swangerskap!!! Dis bitter laaank).

Hierdie is nou weer 'n heel ander fase van my lewe, met hakke en pakke, sykouse en spertye. Daar is baie om te leer, mense om te ontmoet en die stad bied baie feeste en spyskaarte vir elke geleentheid.

En alhoewel dit nie 100% ek is nie, leer ek baie en hou ek steeds bietjie van die meisie met die blom in haar hare wat kaalvoet op die strand rondloop. Ons word so gou groot en vergeet soms om ons beplanning op sy te skuif en net die oomblik te geniet.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment”
-Henry David Thoreau

Liza