“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”
― Robert F. Kennedy

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Liefde

Iemand het my 'n ruk terug gevra of ek ooit eers weet wat liefde is. Die vraag pla my, want ek weet nie of ek weet nie. Ek is nie seker wat 'n verhouding is nie. Ek is onseker oor baie van die klein dinge en ek ken miskien nie al die regte antwoorde nie.

Maar ek weet een ding. Ek weet nou al wat die tipe man is waarvoor ek sal kan lief raak. Hy moet die brein van 'n arm seun hê, met die hart van 'n verowenaar. 'n Straal in sy menswees met sprankel in sy gees. Moet kan erken as hy faal, met sy kop omhoog. Bederf sonder om te blik of te bloos. As hy gevang word in die reën moet hy kan lag en dans en uitsien na die reënboog wat kom. Hy moet my nie net aanvaar soos ek is nie, maar elke dag uitdaag om die beste te wees wat ek kan.

Ek soek net die een man om my lief te he, maar sy liefde moet wees; vry soos 'n veldbrand, mal soos die maan, altyd soos more, skielik soos 'n asemhaling en oorwinnend soos die gety. Ek soek net dit. Met die tipe liefde sal ek gelukkig kan wees. 
"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." - Richard Bach

Monday, 20 May 2013

Boiling Frogs

They say that the best way to boil a frog is to put him in cold water and gradually turn up the heat to a boil, this way he won’t recognize the threat until it is too late, but if you put him in a pot of boiling water immediately, his survival instincts will cause him to detect danger and he’ll quickly jump out.

Much of my life has presented in this way. I know because I just jumped before it was too late, just like the time before last. I was in too deep and the heat was turning up. I would have done any and everything to stay in that nice warm pot, but I realized that if I don’t jump now I would surely boil. My pot was pretty, cosy and amazing, but apparently this pot was not good for me, and I didn’t fit.

I read Lamentations 2:11 the day that I jumped, it described my feelings after getting out of the pot... “I have cried until the tears no longer come; my heart is broken”. I was sad to leave the pot, under other circumstances maybe the pot would have been a good place to be. But now this one was hurting me, I didn’t feel it immediately but the heat was slowly but surely being turned up.

We all reach a stage in our lives when we realize how much sin we have let in and how much we have sacrificed to stay in this comfortable warm area of our lives.

The enemy is fairly clever with how he presents you with temptation, he doesn’t throw it all at you at once, he lets you slide on the small things, a swear word here or there and maybe a drink or two too much. Slowly he presents the flesh as being more and more attractive. We let sin creep into our lives little by little, bit by bit.

They say there is nothing like the fire of a new believer (or a recently born again Christian) they want to set the world alight with their passion and flames. They throw out the old and make radical changes. So often those changes don’t stick. I was lucky enough to when I decided to make some radical changes have an amazing support group. But some of the changes that the Lord has made are still taking time to manifest in my life. I am sometimes weaker than I care to admit. And sometimes I feel like the changes didn't stick, for every now and again I fall.

In university I had the most worldly friends you could imagine and for me to change within their setting was so hard, don’t get me wrong if asked on a form what their religion was, about 90% of them would say Christian. But God started working on me, making me realize that this was not what He had planned for me, His daughter. So we started making changes to my lifestyle little by little, as not to upset my worldly friends too much, or be labelled an outcast or worse a freak. A popular theme song I didn’t want to my life to dance to, look at what she’s done and now she’s being all holier than though, what a hypocrite!

I started my first job after varsity where God gave me a lifelong great spiritual mentor only down the hall from me, and the most amazing mature brothers and sisters in faith in the building. We had daily prayer hours in our lunch and I saw miracles and started loving the Lord in a deeper way. After that, by the Grace of God, I went to the Netherlands for 6months, I learnt a lot about myself by travelling with God daily, an outreach in Hungary and a month of backpacking later I was back, ready to spread the Gospel and Love because He had loved me. I was made strong to be poured out!

But the enemy saw my all my weaknesses  and slowly but surely I let little sins I had done in the past become favorite habits again. I was still going to church, helping out wherever I could and passionately in love with my Lord but somewhere along the line I had a paradigm shift, from a Gospel World View to a more Worldly (but Christian) World View. You know the one, pushing the boundaries, and justifying everything I did. I was in love with the Lord, but I loved the world too. I realized recently...

Sink or swim. Adapt or die. Jump. Change. The lessons are fairly simple. I was in a pot and it was starting to boil. I had to jump or die...

The important thing is not how far you fall, but how well you get back up, that will be what defines you.

Monday, 6 May 2013

Song for the Day

If I had to put my day into a song, this would be it...

Torn
Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn’t be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings fine I’m torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I’m already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I’m torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. torn.