Maybe

Maybe all men are a drug, and they can pick you up or make you crash so hard. That is my addiction, I think, the high. Feeling that someone might care, just a little or even a bit. I believe that the hardest thing to let go of is something you never truly had. That which was dangled just out of reach, teasing you, making you feel like you could love having that which you never felt you deserved. Love.

When do you stop, is it when you’ve tried everything you know you possibly can without giving your soul, or do you give that too? When have you done everything you can? How do you know when it is time to give up? Pack up and rebox yourself?

Pain is a funny thing. If you keep on smiling no one can see the scars on your soul, and if you keep on pretending, that which you feel will surely go away, will it not? How long do you have to pretend to be okay before you actually are? What is the point of all of this if we are meant to repress that which we feel, cause society wants you to smile through the tears on your soul and the cracks in your being.

If you cry and no one is there to comfort you, does it really matter? More importantly, do you really matter?

Dissapointment

“Heaven is not a place, and it is not a time. Heaven is being perfect. You will begin to touch heaven, Jonathan, in the moment that you touch perfect speed. And that isn't flying a thousand miles an hour, or a million, or flying at the speed of light. Because any number is a limit, and perfection doesn't have limits. Perfect speed, my son, is being there.”
- Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Disappointment... most of us meet up with it frequently. We are disappointed by many things - lovers, friends and family, but none of those has such a capacity to disappoint us, as we ourselves do. We seem to be more forgiving towards others than to ourselves. We desperately feel the need to be nothing less than perfect.

Have you ever not done something because you fear you will fail? I do it all the time. I know what I need to do to get to where I want to be, but fear of the unknown and fear of failure are my two greatest opponents.

We fear failure because it is not tolerated by society, our parents or our peers. We have the need to succeed, to show them that we are worth their love and time and attention. The problem is that we will fail horribly at some things (actually more often than not) on a daily basis. So why let fear of the unknown hold you back?? Is it to spare you the mockery of not being perfect?

Alanis Morisette has a song that sums it up nicely - Perfect: "We love you, just the way you are, if you're perfect..."

I am facing my fears of rejection and failure one by one, as I have built up a whole list of things that I should do but have always been to scared to do. I might have had bigger dreams than I should have, but that is okay. You sometimes need a little failure to keep you humble.

My dad gave me a book to read at the end of 2012 - Jonathan Livingston Seagull, written by Richard Bach. It is a thin book about a seagull who wishes to fly higher and be more than seagulls are accustomed to being - a true classic. Inspirational and simple. The lessons are as simple and true as you get, be the best you can be, fall down, get back up and always aim higher!

“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. Find out what you already know and you will see the way to fly.”
- Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Don't make your dreams little so that little people won't feel threatened.

Perfect

Sometimes is never quite enough

If you're flawless, then you'll win my love

Don't forget to win first place

Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy

Try a little harder

You've got to measure up

And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up

How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up

With everything I do for you

The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl

You've gotta try a little harder

That simply wasn't good enough

To make us proud

I'll live through you

I'll make you what I never was

If you're the best, then maybe so am I

Compared to him compared to her

I'm doing this for your own damn good

You'll make up for what I blew

What's the problem, why are you crying

Be a good boy

Push a little farther now

That wasn't fast enough

To make us happy

We'll love you just the way you are

If you're perfect